solidmercury:

bruisebanner:

princeofkokoros:

what if there was a really flamboyant assassin and after they killed someone they just snapped their fingers, turned away and said ‘you’ve just been SASSassinated’

 #clint barton

image

(via shakespork)

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.


just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

(via shakespork)

monogramouflage:

afgaganistan:



Omg it is literally perfect. The colors match and all.

monogramouflage:

afgaganistan:

Omg it is literally perfect. The colors match and all.

(via shakespork)

(Source: mari-sokoli, via shakespork)

the-anal-rapist:

*purposely drop something in front of my crush*

image

(via shakespork)

theobiwan:

clamjob:

ifollowbadblogs:

If you cloned yourself and then got a handjob from your clone, is that incest, homosexual, or masturbation?

its a sin thats what it is

I don’t know why I laughed so hard at this.

(via shakespork)

thrashleydawn:

femintits:

so my friend is in italy and she bought me this

Is this what eating a bag of dicks is like

thrashleydawn:

femintits:

so my friend is in italy and she bought me this

Is this what eating a bag of dicks is like

(via homowner)

hikaru-9:

No don’t do it! 

hikaru-9:

No don’t do it! 

(Source: memewhore, via shakespork)

realitytvgifs:

Happy Earth Day!

(via misunderstoodlatte)

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

(via brainbleacher)

hitlervevo:

my social studies teacher once told us “human beings are the most selfish of all. even when someone dies, you shed tears only because they are no more around to provide you with whatever they had been for so long”

and it has been 3 years since she said this and this is still what i think about at night

(via gsandws)

dejacoendou:

hey-doesnt-he-rap:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

now we’re asking the real questions

As a twin, I can say my dick is definitely bigger than my sister’s.

(via gsandws)

cadburycreamcoolator:

I’M FUCKING CRYING

(Source: iraffiruse, via gsandws)