sailorxstar: sherlielocks: twotwentyonebbakerst: its3amnow: downawhoresthroat: kristie369: i’d have a heart attack if i was her. i’d shit my pants OMG I’D KILL HIM can you imagine if Sherlock did this to John CAN YOU IMAGINE IF SHERLOCK DID THIS TO JOHN CAN YOU IMAGINE IF SHERLOCK DID THIS TO JOHN
Anonymous asked: Have you ever had a duck slap across your f**cking face so godd*mn sh*t hard you black the f**ck out?
if i was a dj my name would be dj enzyme because i’m always breaking it down You are a nerd.
iamtonysexual: mortson: sweetsweetdicksinmymouth: dirkdave: PARTY AT MY PLACE i’ve got the alcohol covered i’ll bring some soda ill bring the drugs I’LL BRING THE BITCHES
*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer
c0nnorbaker: unimpulsive: OMFG I’M CRYING i would soooo be on this
Whipping your hair
sodamnrelatable: Expectations: Reality: via sodamnrelatable
When your friends start liking something you told...
sodamnrelatable: via sodamnrelatable
Anonymous asked: had sex?
Anonymous asked: okay so when i was a little kid i wanted to have a vampire as a boyfriend, so i put blood secretly in his food. i put about 3 kilos a day. some as pasta sauce. i like to used my own so i put my tampons in the freezer and then lick them later, i think i have changed im waiting for him. also i think i should tell him that i shaved his eybrows off tho give to my other ware wolf boyfriend. see theyre...
Ghetto girls on the phone in public,
And I told her “Shaniquwa YOU NEEDA SLAP DAT HOE”